What is home? Where is home?

There are a lot of quotes regarding what home is:

“Home is where the heart is” – Pliny the Elder

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in” – Robert Frost

“When you finally go back to your old home, you find that it wasn’t the old home you missed, but the childhood” – Sam Ewing

“Home is any four walls that enclose the right person” – Helen Rowland

People frequently ask me where I’m from, because I work in customer service and it’s a nice friendly question. Depending on the phrasing of the question, I will either respond with, “I was born and raised here in San Diego” or I might add on “…but I consider the Carolinas my home.” I am a firm believer in that just because you were born somewhere, that doesn’t make it “home.” I have never felt comfortable in California. I don’t fit in here (unless you count the crazy colored hair) either in ideology or in personality. I didn’t realize this until I moved away and then came back. I knew I was unhappy, but I didn’t realize how much I dislike this city until I returned. I don’t think it necessarily has anything specifically to do with San Diego, per se, but cities in general.

Some people love the hustle and bustle of high-speed city life, and others, like me, prefer the slower pace and open spaces that you can only find in small towns. I miss the friendliness that comes naturally to small town people. When there are only 2000 people in your town, you run into the same people over and over again, so it seems natural to be nice and polite to those people. True, in small towns, it’s hard to keep your private life completely private, but I’d rather that than to be invisible in a city of millions.

The older I get, the less social I become. I have no interest in going out and meeting new people just for the sake of going out and meeting new people. I’d rather stay home with my cat and a good book. Maybe I’m destined to be the stereotypical crazy cat lady. I’m okay with that. To me, home is a quiet place filled with books and at least a cat or two. I’m trying to save up to move out of this city that drives me crazier every day and back to a place where I feel like I fit in better. I feel like I was born in the wrong decade, in the wrong place. I don’t fit in my own life. As soon as my knee is “fixed” then I will seriously start planning on my move away from here, to get back home again.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michaela Wiley
    Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:20:30

    So true…I can really relate to this, it feels so weird when you feel like you’re growing in a different direction than where your life is. I’m a crazy cat lady too (grew up in a small town too). I hope 2014 is good to you and you get to where you want to be (:


  2. Barbara Ribling
    Jan 23, 2014 @ 13:02:16

    Home is sometimes hard to find. I was born in North Carolina but was a toddler when we left so I don’t remember it. My Dad had an Air Force career so we moved a few times but ended up in South GA when I was just 12. I have been here ever since with a few short stints in other states. From as early as I can remember I had a desire to go “Home”. The problem was that was that I had no idea where “Home” was, just an overwhelming nostalgic need to get there. That uncomfortable desire faded into nothing sometime after age 40. I don’t know why I had that yearning nor where it went. I have always longed for the Appalachains so I was delighted to discover that my ancestors lived in TN for many years. Maybe that nostalgia for an unknown place was an “Ancestral Memory” if there is such a thing. Anyway, I hope that you can find the place you feel at Home in or, maybe like me, you will eventually become resigned to living wherever you happen to be.


  3. Taking to the Open Road
    Jan 23, 2014 @ 13:07:23

    I think home is where you leave pieces of your heart. I’m a city girl and have lived in London, NYC and Sydney and I call all these places home. Growing up in Malaysia I never felt like I belonged there and although it’s where my family still live it isn’t really home any more.


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