My surgical update

I would have posted sooner, but I had to make sure I had it straight in my head first.

This past Wednesday, I finally went in for my long awaited knee surgery. I had been assured over & over again that it’s just a simple procedure & that I’d be up and running around again in no time. I wish it was that easy.

The problem with exploratory surgery is that you never really know what you’re going to find until you get in there and get a good look around.

The good news is that, while I definitely have thinning of the cartilage in my knee, it wasn’t ruptured or torn at all. The bad news is that the condyle head of my tibia (that’s the knobby part at the end of the bones) has suffered extensive wear and deterioration. To put it simply, at 39, I have the knees of a 60 year old.

The doctor did his best to scrape it clean and clear up the mess, but if that doesn’t stimulate new cartilage growth to replace what I’ve lost, I’m looking at a much more invasive surgery, perhaps even going as far as a total knee replacement. Obviously, this is not what I wanted to hear.

I wanted it to be nice & simple, with a fast turnaround time, so I could get on with my life. It doesn’t look like that’s the case here.

I’m trying really hard to be optimistic here, but it’s not easy. It seems like every time I try to make plans to improve my life, my body just laughs at me & something else breaks. At least I have my empathetic cat, who can always tell when I’m having an especially rough day & he comes to comfort me. Too bad I don’t have a man in my life who is that selfless.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Hab
    May 18, 2014 @ 22:37:23

    Dearest Es,

    Yes, our traitorous bodies… It is a topic I could go on and on about. I finally understand what a lovely 103 yr old patient meant when I asked her (feels like a lifetime ago) why she kept getting out of bed alone when this was the third time she had broken her hip doing so, and she replied simply: “I forget I can’t walk…”. I don’t forget, but my mind is still young and my body so much older than how I think and what I want from life, and my actual age that I can’t help feeling extremely depressed most days. I do what I can, but that seems like it is never enough. All I can honestly say – the only thing that helps me – is to just keep fighting the good fight. It is our path. I hope to understand it all one day. Until then… I keep fighting. Sending love, prayers and good thoughts your way. ❤


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